come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize