I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
