i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
this hospital has no fireball
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
