I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
