I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize