Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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