Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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