Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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