do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
