Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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