I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
