I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
