Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
