Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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