talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
