U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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