I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize