i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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