whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
