Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
ttyl tear gas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize