Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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