Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize