On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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