the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize