some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
