i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize