How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
