The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
