I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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