please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
