My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
