I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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