She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
