i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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