Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
