Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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