I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
