I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
