She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
