You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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