So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
