You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
