Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
