I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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