Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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