If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
