That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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