I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
