okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
