If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
