Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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