I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
