I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
