no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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