apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
