do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
