Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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