When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You can't special order awesome
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
