Ambien. No doubt about it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize